if you take photos i hate you

I take photos.  Sometimes I don't take enough.  Sometimes I take too many.  Sometimes I take too long working on them afterward.  I take photos and sometimes I hate myself for it, but if you take photos I probably hate you to.

I'm not sure why I have this reaction.  Every time I read about some new photography star in American Photo or National Geographic or Wired or whatever the hell I happen to come across online I HATE that person.  I hate their amazing talent and their incredible depth in imagery.  I think "FUCKING BULLSHIT I COULD DO THAT.  WHY IS THIS PRETENTIOUS ASSHOLE GETTING PAID, GETTING TO LIVE OFF OF DOING WHAT I WANT TO DO? SHIT BULLSHIT FIVE WAYS GODDAMNED CHRIST FUCK ME."  It's quite a reaction to have to the thing that I love.

Which is weird.  I've always described myself as non-competitive.  I get competitive with myself.  SELF IMPROVEMENT I always think.  Turns out that just ain't true and I just discovered it today.

Are all artists so self loathing that they mentally lash out at those who are more successful, more dedicated, more well known?  I don't know man.  Who are these people?  How are they sooo good?  Are they just like me?  Slouching through one idea after the next?  Having a gallery show once a year in the town they grew up in?

I have this big idea about those big names.  Like how you hear that Hemmingway or Assimov treated writing like a full time job.  How they put a pot of coffee on at 8 to get on their typewriter at 9 and didn't stop until 5.  I mean what the fuck am I doing with myself that is so important that it's getting in the way of photography?  I love photography!  How am I not doping this everyday?

It's like I need some corporal punishment everyday I don't work on image making for at least an hour.  Everyday I don't work on photography a strip of flesh is to be removed from the back of my knee joint. That'd be a neat setup wouldn't it?  Be held prisoner by my own fascination?  Well that's kinda how it is now, but in reverse.  In some type of torturous holding pattern.



Well that needs to change.  I need to change.  I heard from somewhere (probably my parents) that it takes doing something everyday for a month for your behavioral patterns to change.  Maybe my inner voice yelling "BULLSHIT" every time I see a 365 project should be more directed at myself than those brave individuals who take it upon themselves to take an image every. damn. day.  Ok yes.



Look at these amazing people that intimidate me and make me feel wildly jealous:
http://jonathanasnyder.com/
http://geordiewood.com/
http://pdn30.pdnevents.com/gallery/2013/index.php?contest=bee
http://365mark.blogspot.com/2013/02/day-57-february-26th.html


I've done some good shit.  I know that.  But I think it's time to embrace my competitive edge and get somewhere with my photography already DOGGARN IT.

sean

Solano Land Trust and thoughts on Instagram

Hey hey hey! Long time no see! These here are photos from the Solano County Land Trust Member and Volunteer Appreciation BBQ.  The place was super pretty and I had a fun time taking photos of these nice folks.  Although I did get quite tired and used a cutting board as a pillow.

Things are just about wrapped up on the deliveries for my pals that backed A Photo Book For Lonesome Children.  Since I took so long getting myself together I'm sending everybody extra bits of cool stuff from the book.  So hopefully people like that.

Also I began using Instagram http://followgram.me/sean_leydon Instagram intrigues me.  There are a lot of photographers losing their minds about "the potentials of mobile photography" who rarely go into specifics about what they mean.  Hasn't photography always been a mobile medium?  Are they talking specifically about sharing their photography?  Where are we going as photographers if the focus is shifting to people NEEDING to see our work in lieu of producing the best work we can?  Who knows?!  I just know that it is an interesting way to see the world through the eyes of others, whenever I damn well please.

That is all for now friends!


PS Go see Looper if you haven't.  It's goddamned amazing!

Blinds, Introductory Hats, and a Small Cowboy

 

I quite like the mobility of a small camera.  It's nice so nice.  Hung out in Grass Valley with my pal Anthony for a few days.  Some of these are from the odd Blockbuster that is slowly closing up there.  Some are from Anthony's new house.  

The rest are from Roseville and Loomis.  My pal Chris was in town and it had been awhile since I'd seen him.  He had a maternity photoshoot scheduled.  I came along as I had my imminently convenient and powerful new camera just chillin in my pack.  Unfortunately I still haven't made any progress with being able to access the x10's RAW format on my computer, so I only got to upload the images I processed in camera.

The photoshoot with Chris was interesting.  We got there about forty minutes early to scout the location, the shoot was scheduled for seven.  The light was fading, but the clouds spread some of it around and diffused it which is nice for skin.  The couple was late and their three year old was grumpy.  If it had been my paid gig I would've been stressed about time, light, and the emotional state of the toddler.  It was a solid learning experience about taking it easy.

So What The Hell Else Is New?

 

Hi friends!

I was out of commission for a while because I blew my right wrist and hand pad while working on my photobook.  Which is 99.98% finished.  I should be sending off the final draft this Friday.  Hopefully.

In other news all the above photos were taken with my brand new Fujifilm x10!  It is a sweet powerful little camera.  I just got it last Tuesday.  I could go on AT LENGTH about its myriad features that are about to make my life easier, and the unexpected issues I've had with it.  Suffice to say most of the color adjustments, crops, and miscellaneous edits were done IN CAMERA.  Whoa man.  I just gotta find a RAW codec for this little fellas RAW file format (which is RAF, as in Royal Air Force or Radical Awesome Friend) and figure out how to manipulate MOV files on a PC.

So my output should be much more significant now that I have this neat little piece of technology.
Also looking at getting a website up.

That is all for now.
Over and out.
Via con dios.
SEAN

Sain Patrick's Day/Art Walk/Beatnik Books

Here are some photos from the third saturday art walk in Roseville at Beatnik Books. Beatnik Books is like way damn the place to be, they gots art and music and food and cheap great books. Also it was Saint Patrick's Day, but the rain chased most of the funny drunks inside.

A few amiable drunks came in and attempted to dance while discussing Kony 2012 with us. So that was pretty cool. Later I did follow some drunks into their den of inequity, but those incriminating photos were absolutely MADE for the facebooks.